Lessons From the Fireground: What Seeing People’s Worst Days Teaches You About Life

By Severen Henderson

People often ask if there was one call that changed how I see the world.

The truth is, it was never just one.

It’s the accumulation. Hundreds of calls. Thousands of moments where you see life at its most fragile. These experiences stack on top of each other over time. Eventually, you realize you don’t look at the world the same way anymore. You can’t.

Working in the fire service exposes you to things most people only see in movies. And honestly, television can’t come close. The tragedies aren’t scripted. They’re sudden. They’re messy. And they happen to ordinary people living ordinary lives who didn’t see it coming.

This is in no way a brag. I’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell stories for days. Stories that become embedded and never leave.

There was a young man walking home from school with his friends. It was around dusk, and he was walking with two girls. And because of jealousy, someone pulled up and shot him in the butt with a shotgun.

He survived the scene. He didn’t die that day.

But later, he developed a severe infection and eventually passed away.

Think about that. A kid walking home from school. Gone. Because somebody was jealous.

Then there was the call involving mistaken identity.

A young man was shot because he happened to be wearing a gray hoodie, jeans, and Timberland’s. We responded and treated him. He was injured but alive.

About thirty minutes later, we were dispatched to the same address again.

At first, we thought the computer terminal in the truck had glitched. Had to be a mistake. There was no way we were going back to the exact same location that fast.

But when we arrived, we realized what had happened.

Another young man had been shot. He was also wearing a gray hoodie, jeans, and Timberland’s. This time, the shooter got closer, and two bullets struck his head, and he died on the scene.

Then, to make it worse. Two weeks later, the first victim was found dead as well.

I don’t tell those stories to shock people. I tell them because they’re the reason I think the way I think now. When you repeatedly respond to calls like that, you experience a change. It happens over the years, especially in some of the toughest neighborhoods in America.

At this point in my life, not much surprises me anymore.

When people say life is unpredictable, I don’t just agree. I’ve watched it play out in real time. Someone you know and love can be here one second and gone the next. No warning. No chance to say goodbye. Just gone.

One of our fire captains at my old company was killed when an I-beam collapsed during a garage fire. It landed on his chest and sent him into cardiac arrest. I wasn’t on that call, but hearing the story from the guys who were there was enough. You carry that with you, whether you were on scene or not.

This job also made me appreciate the people around me more than I probably would have otherwise.

Not just my family at home, but the people I work with. The fire department is full of individuals from diverse backgrounds, neighborhoods, and life experiences. Now that I teach instructor classes, I’m constantly reminded of the abundance of knowledge around me. You just need to pay attention.

Some of the toughest-looking people I’ve ever met in this job appeared intimidating at first. However, they turned out to be the most generous individuals you could imagine. They are the type who would give you the shirt off their back. This generosity comes simply because you’re part of the same fire service family. I learned early on that the saying ‘you can’t judge a book by its cover’ rings true. People will surprise you every single time if you let them.

There’s another thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

We spend so much time chasing things we want that when we finally get them, we forget to be thankful. We get comfortable. We get used to the blessings we once prayed for. I’m guilty of that, too. When you’re used to chaos and urgency every day, slowing down and being present takes real effort. It doesn’t come naturally.

I’ll be honest. There was a stretch in my life where I wasn’t in a good place. I’m not ready to go deep into that story yet, but I will say this. That period forced me to rebuild the way I looked at the world. Seeing the good in life again wasn’t something that just happened on its own. It was a decision I had to make and then keep making, day after day.

The invention of social media has and continues to change our lives. And at a certain point, I made a decision on my use for it. I decided not to feed on the negativity that fills our news and social media feeds. Instead, I was going to lead with the good. Spread the good. Because the bad doesn’t need any help finding you. It shows up on its own.

Getting older isn’t always easy either. Like a lot of people, I have days when I struggle with aging. Being able to do the things I once did without a second thought now takes planning.

But then I think about all the people I’ve responded to who never got the chance to get older. The young men in those stories I just told you. The captain who went to work that day and didn’t come home.

Aging is not something everyone gets to experience. I’ve seen too many lives cut short to complain about another birthday.

So here’s what twenty-plus years on the job has taught me.

The struggles will always be there. The challenges will always show up. That’s just how life works. But if you only focus on what’s wrong, you’ll walk right past everything that’s good.

Look at the best parts of your life more often. Handle the problems as they come. One at a time. And while you’re doing that, don’t forget to appreciate the fact that you’re still here to deal with them.

From where I stand, I have repeatedly seen the worst days of people’s lives. I can tell you this.

The ordinary days are the ones worth paying attention to. Most people just don’t realize it until it’s too late.